Selfies are not really my thing but every once in a while I figure hey, why not.

Took this on my way home from the hospital the other day.  Two days earlier my PICC pulled out, only 1/2 way, overnight. I spent the afternoon in emerg only to be told that I'd have to come back the following day because radiology couldn't fit me in. No big deal and it's a pleasant 45' ride on the wheelchair to the hospital, the weather was perfect so why not enjoy it.

Overall, it's been a lousy week- not eating, vomiting and diarrhea off and on since last weekend. Consequently I've been feeling tired and even a bit depressed which is very usual for me. I was in the bank the other day and the ATM refused my card, then I couldn't get it out of the machine because of my hands. The last straw was when I dropped the envelope with my deposit in it. It was pretty busy and I just wanted to cry because everything seemed like a disaster. Of course I wouldn't allow myself to cry, and just proceeded to the teller and did my banking.

Some days, very few and far between fortunately, it just gets to be too much.  My rheumatologist once said to me "It's okay to be down sometimes you know." And she was right of course but I don't have to like it.

Today is another day, I'm feeling much better both physically and emotionally, and life is good again.

Li'l Will

This picture of my grandson was taken just a couple of days ago. He's now about 2 1/2 months old and I am still overwhelmed with emotion every time I see him or his parents post a new image on FB. I knew that being a grandpa was going to be pretty cool but had no idea what an impact he would have on me. There truly is nothing like it. I am blessed.

Meditation

It's been a while since I posted about scleroderma and the benefits of meditation and since I've finally got back on track with a regular meditation practice, I thought this would be a good time to update.

A couple of months ago I ran into a former meditation practitioner from my old sangha. We ended up planning a sit at my place for Wednesday evenings. We invited others and can have anywhere from 2 - 4 people show up.  I also joined a group at a nearby branch of the library for a Tuesday noon hour sit. Having others to practice with on a regular basis has always been a great motivator for me and it's working. I'm now doing a minimum of two 20' sits in a nearby park every day, weather permitting. And instead of looking for excuses or just being too lazy,  now look forward to my daily sits.

And I'm feeling much better for it. My emotions are levelling out again - less prone to anger for one thing. My dealings with others have taken on a more compassionate and empathetic nature. Physically, I have more energy and less discomfort.

What took me so long?

Life is good.